


I’m like you

by babechalamet



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman, call me by your name - Fandom
Genre: CMBYN - Freeform, Call me by your name, LGBTQ, M/M, Minor Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer, Oliver - Freeform, Timothee Chalamet - Freeform, elio and oliver, elio perlman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 15:36:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21181835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babechalamet/pseuds/babechalamet
Summary: Elio Perlman and Oliver may have a certain unfinished tension lingering between them. Could it be Elio’s discomposure towards Oliver or could it be Oliver’s resentment that Elio didn’t chase him?





	I’m like you

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely my sequel to call me by your name. It is currently unfinished, however I continue to write whenever I can. I hope you all enjoy!

pov. elio ;

the disorientated look on his face gave me the impression he’d forgotten who i was. or at least didn’t recognise me. but he knew. he knew exactly who i was.  
his position remained remote. not a single move. just a gaze as i began to question if i should’ve come here or not.   
“somewhere in northern italy, 1983. do you remember?” i questioned upon confusion. “i remember everything” he sharply replied without hesitation. there it was, oliver. just his speech and presence alone was enough to reminisce. the first words he had spoken since i stepped foot into his house, yet he still managed to captivate me once again with merely a sentence. before i could even speak, i found myself admiring the artwork that was oliver. metaphorically speaking, like one of the statues he studied that summer with my father.  
a indistict look was shared between us for a moment before it was interrupted, as a prominent figure appeared and glanced at myself before handing oliver a glass of apricot juice then leaving again. i looked at the glass before turning my head. ‘is this a sign or am i being in over my head? no, I’m being stupid’ my thoughts were clouded with doubt.  
“apricot juice?” i asked, expecting an answer yet the question must’ve seemed rhetorical to oliver. sipping his juice he held his strong, firm look with me.  
“why are you here?” he asked me. this hurt. “why am i here?” i looked down in a disappointment and desolation. “elio?” just a second after saying this is, i felt regret as i simply didn’t feel the same connection between us. he wanted to answer, i knew he did. but he didn’t, he just solemnly looked at me teary-eyed.  
my head couldn’t possibly fathom his behaviour. what had i done wrong?  
as i got up to leave and opened the door, “oliver?” i heard with a faint voice. suddenly his vulnerability was lingering in the atmosphere, and i had the power. i turned around and looked at him. in this moment, the awkwardness and the tension was no longer in existence. it was just two people in a room, at the mercy of one another with each other’s name in their mouths.   
you find yourself in moments like these throughout your life, whether they’re imaginary or real. yet you never truly understand the feeling of it until you’re stood there, before someone who you have never felt more infatuated by. and you just feel safe.  
within that minute, adrenaline kicks in and i kiss him. the soft feeling of his lips gives me a warm embrace, the smell of his hair was the same as before as i leant in towards him. every single second we spent together hits me in a millisecond, overwhelmingly.  
my power was then taken away by my decisions, and i was the vulnerable one.  
“let me take you somewhere” oliver whispers to me with a gentle tone. as he stands up, he looks at me once more before this prominent figure enters the room once again. “darling, you can’t forget we have dinner with next door tonight" the mysterious figure spoke.  
darling? i thought to myself. shit. im really fucking stupid. my heart sank and i had to stop my jaw from hanging open when she spoke. so this is the infamous wife, huh?  
“my apologies, I’m oliver’s wife. and yourself?”, “elio. elio perlman to be precise” i turned to Oliver for a split second and noticed the conscience-stricken look on his face. it almost gave me the impression that he felt remorse, but what for exactly? of course, he got married. but if he loved her, deeply and truly then such a look wouldn’t be necessary. would it?  
“Are we just gonna ignore what happened in there?”, “I’m not ignoring it, but I’m not pursuing it or entertaining it” he replied firmly. so i just left it at that, despite my feelings differing.

his car smelt just like him. but then again, everything at this time reminded me of him. i just wanted to feel his lips on me once more.  
he took me to a serene, discreet location. it reminded me of crema. i felt the warmth in the air hit me as i opened the car window, the sun filtering through the few clouds in the sky as the radio played. what a beautiful moment to witness.  
we got to a bar eventually and sat outside. “i need you to listen to me oliver. i wouldn’t have come all this way if i didn’t–“ i couldn’t possibly say it, why i struggled? i don’t know. i guess i felt stupid if i did say it because i didn’t know if he still felt he same way. “what i mean is... i want you in my life. i need you in my life. i’ve been searching for 3 years trying to find someone else like you, just to fill an empty void inside me” i continuously poured my heart out to him for five minutes as he just sat there unresponsive. “...i can’t possibly say or do anymore. oliver, i feel suffocated and trapped without you.” my voice cracked and broke as a tear fell down my sunken face. “you really want to know why i can’t be with you?” he sat there for a moment scratching his face in a bewildered state before he spoke again “the day i got on that train and left you, the day i said goodbye, the day that i called you to tell you i was engaged...” his voice grew louder with more expression as he spoke each word “...was the day that i told myself i wasn’t good enough for you. i can’t keep lying to myself. I don’t deserve you, i left you for god sake and didn’t look back. and i don’t think i have ever hated myself more. yes, i fucking love you, i adore you and the very ground you walk on. but i don’t deserve you, what i put you through, is unforgivable. that’s why”


End file.
